My Mother's Hair

 As I try to curl my graying locks to cover the thin spots on either side of my forehead, I think... I knew this was coming. Mom suffered thinning hair as did her mother before her. To add insult to injury, these spots grayed before the rest of the head, too, so first we have a hint of skunk about us. I've seen pictures of Grandma was she was younger with the same gray streaks. But Mom and Grandma had a disadvantage- the church taught they should not cut their hair- in some misguided biblical interpretation of submission to their husbands. So the streaks were combed back and put in a bun (in Grandma's case) and a French roll in Mom's.  Somehow, she was convinced by the sewing circle that it was okay to go to the beauty parlor once a week. Her beautician would comb out the teasing, wash, roll it in curlers, put her under the dryer, and then, tease it all again into the French roll. Mom slept with a satin cap to protect her hairdo until the next Saturday. If an important event fell on Friday, before the Saturday appointment, Mom would ask me to help her with her hair. I would comb out the tangles. And she taught me to roll it in curlers after she "washed her head". When it dried, I'd tease the top for her to add volume, smooth down long tresses over the top and roll them into a vertical tuck in the back. Sometimes we put in a little false hair piece inside the roll to fill it out more. It never looked real good but Mom said it would do.

Until a friend came home with me and needed a trim, I didn't realize what the beauty parlor really was to the women who gathered there each week. Mom and I sent the friend to Mom's beauty shop. With fresh eyes, she made me see the close community the weekly washes created. I don't remember exactly when Mom agreed to get her long hair cut, probably a bit after other women in the church did. I do remember that the beautician said the weight of the long hair was making her thin faster. The weekly trips to the beauty parlor continued, and I continued to pinch hit. When Mom was in rehab, her beautician came to wash and style her hair. And when she died, the funeral home director had her fix Mom's hair one last time. 

Working with Mom's hair is one of the many reasons we were close. I never really liked doing her hair, but I'd give anything to be able to do it again now that she's gone. With short hair, hair dryers and curling irons, I've never needed help with my hair. I hope there are other ways to stay close to my daughter.