Another Trip Around the Sun

 June 1st is a day that sneaks up on you. No one is prepared to celebrate when you're born on this day. "Oh? It is June already?" Never got birthday cards on time as a kid, not the right time of the year to take treats to school... And today, my celebration-averse family has just gotten themselves organized to commemorate Mother's Day, so summoning the communication skills to organize for a June 1 birthday celebration is beyond them. I'm lucky my work and friends remember and celebrate with me. 

This year the funeral of our 67 year old church friend & neighbor was held on birthday weekend. It's still hard to believe she is gone (that dread cancer disease) and I keep expecting a group text from Gloria  asking us to pray for her sleep, or her back pain or to report on a test result. It seemed like organized-Gloria would sit up on her death bed and text to her friends, "Okay, well, I guess this is it." Hospice was only there a few weeks. Her 4 kids and husband were able to care for her at home. I do not think this will be my experience. If I go first, Doug will not have the emotional strength for it - he'll keep escaping to farm when I need him to turn me over. And the kids.... well, time will tell I guess. If communicating with each other to find a night to celebrate my birthday is any indication, I'd better make some arrangements with a Hospice house of some sort. 

I am 64- in six months I'll be the exact age as Dad when he died. This milestone, combined with Gloria crossing over, begs me to reflect on the time I have left. Maybe this is as old as I'll get. I sure hope to live to watch my grandchildren grow up- something Gloria didn't get to do- but I'll need to say goodbye to them some day. That's the nature of loving people- knowing there will eventually be pain. I wonder if brother Steve, who died suddenly in his sleep, had any consciousness about what was happening. He certainly wasn't given the time to say good-bye or process the loss of being there to raise his children. 

People will disappoint, but I am comforted in the faith that no one walks the end of life path alone. We sang this song at Gloria's funeral- all 300 of us. Sacred space.  

Nothing is lost on the breath of God, nothing is lost forever,
God's breath is love, and that love will remain, holding the world for ever. 
No feather too light, no hair too fine, no flower too brief in its glory,
No drop in the ocean, no dust in the air, but is counted and told in God's story. 

Nothing is lost to the eyes of God, nothing is lost forever.
God sees with love, and that love will remain, holding the world forever.
No journey too far, no distance too great, no valley of darkness too blinding;
No creature too humble, to child too small for God to be seeking and finding.

Nothing is lost to the heart of God, nothing is lost forever;
God's heart is love, and that love will remain, holding the world forever.
No impulse of love, no office of care, no moment of life in its fullness;
No beginning too late, no ending too soon, but is gathered and known in its goodness.